“Wherever you go becomes a part of you.” Anita Desai
We disembarked in Kobe, Japan on January 24th for a five-day stay. We’d had a wonderful trip to Japan two years ago, thoroughly enjoying time in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Kamakura (big Buddha). After that experience, we declared Japan one of our top three favorite countries.
Being Travelers
This visit we decided to just be in Kobe—after all, it’s called Ko-BE! We’d been feeling a wee bit under the weather for a few days, and the local weather was gray and chilly. We’ve learned to pace ourselves in our travels, as in life. Japan seemed a perfect place to practice Being Travelers—as contrasted with doing and seeing. Our “goal” for Japan was to soak in the Zen ambience and introverted energy.
In Kobe, daily, we meandered the walkable city, with its array of covered shopping streets, residential avenues, and business district. We visited the 9-story Daimaru department store, sampling the Chocolate Promenade wares and gazing upon the basement grocery replete with Japanese fare. We ate Kobe beef, sushi, dumplings, soups, and stuff we didn’t recognize—including a lunch and breakfast at the delicious buffet restaurant in our hotel. We fed our Starbucks addiction at the shop near our hotel. We visited the local Ikuta Shrine for our Orange gate and goddess fix. We had the requisite (cheap and excellent) massages. We visited a grocery to purchase mystery snacks and supplies.
We went to a local jazz club, The Great Blue. One of the other professors on the voyage, David Borgo, an accomplished jazz musician did a gig there, with local artists. Jazz is popular in Japan (who knew?). The musicians were amazing. They played standard jazz tunes and a few original songs written by David. Quite fun—and a privilege to experience such talent!
Yet, our favorite part of this Kobe stay was simply being. We’ll try to find words to explain it.
Kaizen; Wabi-Sabi; Ikigai
Language is intriguing. A culture’s lexicon reveals its character. It would be interesting to see a mind-map of the most frequently used terms in various cultures. (Sadly, the U.S. lexicon would likely be mainly consumeristic.)
We checked out an interesting book from the ship’s library, The Japanese Have a Word for It: A Complete Guide to Japanese Thought and Culture (De Mente, 1994). The Japanese language is particularly intricate and precise. “Virtually every aspect of Japanese thought and behavior came to be described by a specific word,…pregnant with meaning” (xv).
One of Erlene’s favorite Japanese terms is Kai-zen. The term—used especially in business, but throughout the culture—connotes gradual, consistent improvement through small steps. She uses it frequently when teaching about self-care as a kaizen process, rather than achieved perfection. Similarly, for years, Erlene’s used a book about Wabi-Sabi in regular reflections; this term connotes finding beauty, tranquility, and meaning through simplicity and imperfection. Last year, as part of her Joy emphasis, Erlene read Awakening Your Ikaigai: How the Japanese Wake Up to Joy and Purpose Everyday. Ikigai translates “iki”—to live and “gai”—reason. The five pillars of ikagai include: (1) Starting small; (2) Releasing yourself; (3) Practicing harmony and sustainability; (4) Embracing the joy of small things; and (5) Being in the here and now. And, last but not least, Erlene discovered the joy of Kon-Mari tidying up before it became the Netflix sensation.
Subtly spiritual, these concepts radiate in even (and perhaps especially in) the most mundane aspects of Japanese culture. See why we wanted to simply sit, savor, meander, rest…BE?!
Etiquette, Order, & Quiet: Introverts Go, “Ahhhh…”
Our first day in port, we disembarked, took a taxi, and arrived mid-morning at the Kobe Meriken Park Oriental Hotel. Taxis here are impeccably clean—usually Toyota or Mercedes; drivers wear uniforms, including white gloves.
Check-in at the hotel was 3:00pm. In the U.S. and many places, one can readily get an “early check-in.” Not in Japan. We asked and were politely and firmly told that “check-in is at 3:00pm.” So, we (and many other arrivals) stowed our luggage until…3:00pm. While some might view this rule as inconvenient or unreasonable, it’s simply a part of the culture. Japan is a very orderly society. Through another cultural lens their “rigid” rules might seem inflexible. However, as a student remarked, “You know what to expect.”
Japan is quiet! We hear people talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. But, in public spaces, it’s always in hushed tones. During our wait for the 3:00pm check-in, we absorbed the quiet serenity in the hotel lobby. The last few days on the ship, we’d experienced constant rocking from high ocean swells. The lack of internet had gotten a bit frustrating. And, whilst nearly 600 college students create a kinetic, fun energy, we were ready for some quiet.
So, we simply sat next to a lovely fountain in the hotel lobby, enjoying being on land, connecting on-line, people-watching, and absorbing the quiet serenity that is Japan. Around noon, we went to the top-floor restaurant for a leisurely Kobe beef lunch. The chef prepared the meal at a hibachi grill and a neighboring table celebrated a (quiet) birthday. After lunch, we returned to our Zen-lobby to await our 3:00pm check-in.
We’ve never had a more pleasant wait.
Mah Kinda Time
Perhaps that’s because, in our waiting, we were being Japanese. The Japanese do not see “waiting” as negative or wasteful. Rather, as De Mente explains, the Japanese concept of time is rooted in their native religion of Shintoism, which is closely linked with nature and seasons. The rhythm of life cannot be hurried. In contrast, Western thinking sees time as a speeding train that one must jump on or lose out. In essence, like everything in Western culture, Time is commodified: to be spent, saved, wasted. In contrast, the Japanese view time as a natural circle/spiral/koru. As such, the “train” of time comes along again. Time can be slowed down or even stopped altogether.
An interesting aspect of Japanese time is the concept of mah, which literally translates space—or time gaps, in which people practice the pause. De Mente explained that in business negotiations, for example, during mah time, people stop talking—they may leave the room, or close their eyes in thought. A culture’s experience of time affects so much—from arts to commerce to relationships to our ways of being in community.
Westerners could learn so much from the Japanese, starting with Mah kinda time!
Hospitality, Harmony, Magokoro— & Heated Toilet Seats
Japanese epitomize quiet friendliness, sincere attentiveness, and radical hospitality. Everywhere, people greet you and go out of their way to meet your needs. Seriously, if you’ve never been to Japan, it’s difficult to describe.
Here is a quintessential example. We came upon one of the SAS students wandering Kobe. We invited her to go with us to a nearby department store—an essential cultural experience in Japan. In the busy food court, Larry asked one of the staff for the location of coffee supplies. Immediately, the staff came out from behind the counter, and walked him and the student to the other side of the store. Meanwhile, Erlene looked up and we were gone. Another staff sprang into action; she walked Erlene in the direction where Larry and the student had gone. Mid-way, a third staff person picked up the hospitality baton and gestured Erlene in the right direction. This simple encounter was amazing on so many levels, the least of which is that this type of treatment is not unusual; it’s typical.
De Mente explained that the Japanese value sincerity, authenticity, and integrity above all else—and in all aspects of life. These characteristics are encapsulated in Magokoro, which means “true or good heart.” The Japanese seek to bring harmony, which includes practicing etiquette, being scrupulously honest, fulfilling obligations, and valuing loyalty—good hearts.
All that, plus heated commodes that play music, ya’ll—that just has to be experienced!
Mono-No-Aware; Mie Gakure; Comfortable Unfamiliarity
Our previous visit to Japan during glorious June was characterized by colorful nature scenes, beautiful temple hikes, and a bunch of Buddhas. This January visit was wintry gray. De Mente explicates the Japanese Mono-No-Aware, “enjoying the sadness of life” (p. 263) as elemental acceptance that life is fragile, fleeting, and best experienced through simplicity. De Mente notes that one of the best times to experience this aspect of Japanese culture is on rainy, wintry days.
De Mente further explains that Mie Gakure—which translates, hidden from the eye—is what makes the Japanese, Japanese. The Japanese understand that “reality” is not necessarily experienced through seeing or doing—but rather through the spiritual being. We feel so fortunate to be able to BE here for the fuller seasons of a Japanese journey.
Throughout our visit, we rarely saw another Westerner. We couldn’t read most signs; most people we encountered did not speak English. And, given our new understanding of the complexity of the language, we now realize even more how severely our rudimentary Japanese is limited. Yet, the elements described above—and so much more—of the Japanese culture make us feel indescribably comfortable and cozy, even whilst being surrounded with the unfamiliar.
Certainly, the Japanese culture is not without faults—for example, the fact that they have a term for “death from overwork” (karoshi) speaks volumes. But, frankly, in the U.S. or elsewhere when experiencing LOUD public spaces; constant busy-ness; disorder and littered streets; distracted or downright rude customer service or other encounters; insecurity in surroundings—everything that is not Japan, we will remark (softly), “I miss Japan.”
So, just wait (patiently and serenely)…because Japan has become a part of us. Upon our return from this Voyage, our home will become a Kon-Mari Casa de Paz. You’ll be welcome to come for Mah time with us.
